Monday, April 6, 2009

Here's To The Nights We Felt Alive: A Vignette


I went to Happy Hour. The people I was with knew the owners, so the drinks were given a bit too freely and I accepted a bit too readily.

So I had this strange relationship with this guy for about 3 months. He and I regularly e-mailed and texted one another, but due to his splitting time here and in California and also due to his girlfriend whom I knew nothing about, we never saw each other. The week before this incident we had gone to dinner and he confessed his double life. I, of course, thought he was a real prick for this, but I decided to finish my steak first then never speak to him again.

As I suffer from the weakness of the flesh drunk dialing, we had been texting. This night I was feeling rowdy, I texted him something along the lines of “you have a small penis." There was a threat to meet me where I was for us to have a “talk." Since he is busy, living the chic New York life, I never assumed he would actually come to where I was.

I text him to meet me outside the Duane Reade on 34th street across from the TGIF. I think I also questioned his sexuality in this text. He responds with “you aren’t actually by the TGIF on 34th street, are you?" I arrived at our rendezvous destination, barely able to walk straight, and decided to go to Payless across the street. While in there, I missed 5 calls, because I was listening to “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips on my ipod.

He found me in the store and was disgusted. The thing you have to understand about this person is that he loves luxury and is HIGHLY PRETENTIOUS. The sickened look on his face was backed by his plea for us to leave immediately, at which point we went outside to fight on the street outside the TGIF. I suggested that we have a mudslide and was greeted by the response “I would never go to a chain restaurant," to which I countered, “Applebee’s wouldn’t count in that right? What about the Red Lobster on 42nd, that is pretty close?” Of course the argument ended with him saying something along the lines of “You are completely unattractive to me when you are this drunk," me responding with “you are an epic asshole and are balding!!!!” and then us making out. I just thought this one was pretty amusing due to the ambiance.

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