Monday, May 11, 2009

Here's To The Nights We Felt Alive: A Vignette

On the walk home from the J-train this weekend, Harvey’s Mom and I, while drunk, were discussing the legitimacy of Suri Cruise. I, for one, think Suri is Tom Cruise’s baby, whereas H&M believes she is the child of Chris Klein. After about 5 blocks of deep thoughts, we pulled over so I could finish my cigarette and we could say our goodbyes. At this moment, a gentlemen who would be known only as “Timmy” crossed our path asking me for a cigarette. H&M asked him his opinion on the Suri Cruise situation, to which he replied “ I don’t care about that shit.” She then stated that it was a sociological question, to which he responded “well when you put it that way, when I was in L.A. I knew a guy who….” (We can’t tell you what he said, we could get sued for defamation! I will say it involved a bottle of KY, some duct tape, a Peabo Bryon CD, and a Dixon Ticonderoga pencil. JOKE.)

He then told us he was leaving to go home and had been recording all day and night with his band, which were pretty popular. He then mumbled the name. About 5 minutes later, after he gave us his business card, I responded that I would have to friend him on facebook to get all the info on “Fuck Irish Companion,” his band. At this point, he almost fell over laughing for a good ten minutes. Apparently the name of the band was not “Fuck Irish Companion,” but I have since been promised that their name will be changed to this considerably better and smarter moniker. The point of this story being that sometimes in life we hear what we want to hear. I apparently liked the idea of a racist band which excluded friendships with Northern Europeans. Maybe even excluding all road trips with gingers. I can’t be sure. I will finish by saying that you should keep your eye out for their headlining Coachella next year. That name is going to make them stars. Big, bright, shining stars!

P.S. - Would you trust this sick son of a bitch in the picture above in your car, alone with you, driving late night through some weird place in Canada? That’s what I thought.

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