Text 1: "I can see the lights of your car. You are outside my neighbor's house fucko ... I can't go down the steps, you have to come get me"
30 seconds later....
Text 2: "Get your ass over here and ring my doorbell. What do I look like, some type of whore who runs to a car?"
Sent or received any hilarious drunken texts? Well then, we would love them. Please send all submissions to email@example.com.