Thursday, June 18, 2009
Open Letter to the Managers of San Loco on Second Avenue
Dear Esteemed Managers of the Second Avenue San Loco Location:
As a dedicated patron for many years, I feel compelled to write you to let you know that my experience at your establishment last weekend was subpar at best. I arrived at 3am on a Friday night, which is generally indicative of the best time to dine at your restaurant. I find that the late night chefs really know how to work that liquid cheese and grade C ground beef. (Did they train with Ducasse? Perhaps they studied at the Cordon Bleu?)
In short, I ordered my usual, the chicken chipotle Burrito Loco, and I could not believe how altered it was from the sensory experience I remember. There was barely any pico de gallo or guacamole, but the real problem lay with the sauce. The burrito loco SHOULD NOT be topped with sour cream. Its true beauty lies in the unique, nuanced layering of flavors in its rightful, buttery cream sauce. While savoring the dish at the Williamsburg San Loco, sometimes I wonder if I taste hints of Madagascar vanilla or star anise.
Perhaps you can take a cue from Starbucks. When they finally realized that their drip coffee tasted like shit and they needed to do something about it, they closed every location for 30 minutes while they had a staff meeting and taught baristas how to make a perfect cup, because it's so difficult to put a filter in a coffee machine. Maybe you should have a meeting with your Williamsburg location, pinnacle of cafeteria slop that it is, and find out how it is really done.
As a side note, I recommend that you refrain from letting clients who behave like sex offenders sit directly next to the cash register while they wait for their catfish nachos. This will only lead to the sexual harassment of your upstanding clientele, and as I am one of only three persons who has returned to dine at San Loco after their first visit, I wouldn't piss me off. I find myself disappointed in you, not angry with you.
Weekend Douche Editor