Thursday, July 2, 2009

C'Mon Ride The Train

I know we said there would be no more posts because of the move blah blah blah, but one of my friends at work ( yes I have friends other than the Editors here and I also have a job miraculously, regardless of how often I view Casual Encounters on craigslist) and he told me this hilarious story and I couldn't deal with it!

My friend, Anthony is a Chelsea queen type gay guy. You know, extremely well dressed, doesn't eat, lives in the Upper West Side. Anyway, he was telling me how in the late 90s, he decided he wanted to be in a "scene". He had always been higly conservative, and just wanted to really involve himself in something. Sooo, the obvious lifestyle choice was to become very interested in 90s dance music. He already had a hard on for C&C Music Factory and it was the advent of KTU, so it was easy access. You are thinking, Burt, this is so goddamn typical, give me something. Shhh my young padione, it is coming...

So he buys tickets to this huge dance concert that was held at Webster Hall. Picture it, it is 1997. The concert has big names such as La Bouche and the Quad City Djs. Naturally, you also want to know if Crush who sang "Jellyhead" was there. The answer is YES!!! Anthony is at the concert, minding his own business, swaying to "C'Mon Ride The Train" when all of a sudden, some drunken 16 year old girl starts flailing about next to him. Well, my friend being the prick he is, he refused to move an inch. This bitch would not steal his thunder! He stood his ground and was consequently smashed in the face by the girl's fist, almost knocking him unconscious.

It was at this point that my friend looked the girl in the face teary eyed and said " You motherless twat, who raised you!" and stormed out of the venue. The next day he had a black eye. Much like a domestic violence sufferer, he lied and said he got the damage from falling. But we know better. He has yet to ever go to another concert and may or may not be a functioning alcoholic at this point. Oh yeah, and he is still gay.

Editor's Note: I am fairly sure this is live footage from the concert he attended. That is him, 1:24 in!!!!

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